Ready

Me: What about malaria?
Travel nurse: Well, you should take doxyxcycline because malaria in India is resistant to the other drugs. Also, get a Polio vaccine. Rabies would have been a good idea, but it's too late.

Me: Here's my application.
AAA staffer: Well, I don't have a specific driving permit category for autorickshaws. You'll have to take your chances with the permit as it stands.

Me: Will this medication be ok for the trip since I can't keep it in the refrigerator?
Pharmacist: Yes, just try not to leave it in a closed car.

Me: I'm going to India to raise money for charity! COOL HUH!
Optical Technician: "India? Huh. Well. You have a very slim face. This pair might look good on you."